Divorce (some thoughts)

Posted: March 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

I have been divorced so I understand that there are many reason that a divorce should take place.. but lately I have been thinking about how the divorce affects other people. Luckily for me I didn’t have children with my ex, not saying he would be a bad parent, but being that the divorce was inevitable it was best we didn’t have children. I have been talking to and listening to others about whats going on with their situations.. The problem I have is..

 

The other family members, or the step-family members. How can the be a part of a child’s life for years, then when a divorce happen they no longer have anything to do with the kids, or even ask about them? I see this all the time. Where a step-mom or dad and the parent will divorce then that step-parent and his/her family have no desire to find out how the kids are doing, or to keep some sort of relationship with the kids… I just don’t understand that. If you have made a bond with a child, and the situation for that child’s parents change, why do you have to walk away from the child? even if you don’t want to talk to the ex, there are other people that can be contacted to find out how these children are doing.

 

In my case, my step-mom and dad divorced, since the divorce my step-mom and her family have slowly backed off wanting to know me and my kids… its been gradual but I can see it now.

 

In my step-daughters case she built a relationship with her ex step-dads family, and they don’t call or write her, she called them gave them our number. I just don’t understand that. How can you love a child, be a part of a child’s life, and then when a divorce happens, just walk away. It wouldn’t be hard for those people to talk to her, they could call here or write her here (ore email). This has happened to me too, when I was a kid. It makes me feel bad when she talks so highly of these people (and she should).. but I know they have moved on and won’t contact her and probably will never see her again (their choice).

 

I don’t know what life holds for me in the future, but if something were to happen and I got a divorce (please don’t jump to thinking I am). I have a bond and a relationship with my step-daughter. I love her like my own, and if something like that were to happen.. I would stay in her life as long as SHE wanted me too, period.  And when she is grown and does have children I will love those kids as tho they are my own grandkids, I will not shove her kids to the side, when my other children have babies… Anyways, just venting a little here.. I do understand divorce and why it happens.. but for those people that build relationships with others through a marriage (children or adults), please don’t walk away for those you have bonded with, just because two people can’t be together anymore..

 

 

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